In our Marriage Counseling practice we see couples for a variety of reasons. The following information includes most of the complaints we hear about.
The number one reason couples seek Marriage Counseling is Infidelity. Whether it is a onetime affair, chronic affairs, or sexual addiction, infidelity is running rampant across our country. Infidelity does not discriminate. Men do it, women do it, the wealthy do it, and the poor do it. One thing that is true in all cases of infidelity is the utter devastation and wreckage it brings to a marriage. It is the ultimate in betrayal. The good news is that a Marriage can survive infidelity. Not only can marriages survive infidelity, but the marriage can become stronger than it was before the affair. This strengthening is NOT because a spouse had an affair! – it’s because of all the hard work couples put into their relationship to heal from the affair, and practicing the tools to restore love restore and rebuild trust.
Another problem that brings couples to Marriage Counseling is Conflicts and Arguing. Often time the conflict and arguments revolve around the same issues that couples might have had even the first year of marriage. The issues don’t ever get resolved — so couples keep having the same arguments over and over. The repetitive nature of the same old topics again and again can strain and drain any relationship. The time to discuss these recurring issues is not during conflict. When things are calm between the two of you it is the time to kindly and calmly work toward resolvement. Many couples need the help of a Marriage Counselor to accomplish this. See additional information regarding conflict resolution.
The next most common problem that brings couples to us is Communication. When are we ever taught how to communicate with each other? We don’t learn it in high school or college, and our parents probably did not teach it to us either. When we aren’t taught how to be good listeners and speakers, communication is bound to be rough. Both people wind up feeling misunderstood, and as a result of feeling misunderstood they feel unloved. One of the most frequent areas of communication problems is money. In most cases neither spouse has sat down and expressed their expectations. Typically a “saver” marries a “spender”, so unless couples carve out the time to get into agreement about how money is spent and saved it can become a large, complicated issue. See more information regarding communication counseling.
A fourth problem that brings couples into marriage counseling is Blended Families.These days there is a very high percentage of families that are the result of second, third or more marriages. This can involve children from two or more families. The result can be “my kids” and “your kids” rather than our kids. The birth parent and the step-parent can often have very different ideas about how to raise and discipline children. Conflict ensues and the whole house lives in tension. See more information on blended family issues.
All of these issues are important enough to seek help from a qualified Marriage Counselor. Please keep an eye out for our upcoming article on two more very important reasons why couples seek marriage counseling. Trust and Control.