Frequently Asked Questions
You are doing the anxiety-ridden job of trying to find the best place for you and your spouse to get the right kind of help for your marriage.
The saying “knowledge is power” applies here as well. The more you know about marriage intensives, the better decision you’ll make. That means you’ll want to learn as much as possible about each program.
Below are questions that many people ask when trying to determine if they want to move forward with us. Remember, if you still have unanswered questions after reading this document, please feel free to text or call us.
What sets our program apart from other Intensive Marriage Retreats?
Most other Intensive programs offer mainly group settings. They state that over the course of 3 – 4 days, couples receive 20 hours of counseling. But when you have to spread those 20 hours over 10 or more people in the room, how many hours of personal Counseling are you and your spouse actually receiving? In a Marriage Rescue Intensive Retreat, over the course of the same amount of days, couples receive at least 16 – 20 hours of private marriage counseling. We have a 100% success rate of resolving every couple’s top 3-5 most painful issues.
How do we have a 93% success rate?
Getting a happy result from your Intensive Marriage Retreat has little to do with the severity of a couple’s issues. A happy result has much more to do with each couple’s commitment to be open to trying things a new way. After all, if the ‘old’ way had worked, it would have worked by now.
The next key factor in getting a happy result is your Counselor. Both their skill level, their experience and the last, and most important thing about your Counselor – is their heart. We do not blame or judge any of our precious couples – no matter what they may have done in the past. Feeling loved and accepted by your Counselor is foundational in creating an atmosphere of safety and trust.
Expect a miracle, because that’s what we witness regularly!
A private Intensive Marriage Retreat allows enough time for each spouse to feel really heard and understood.
The third reason why we have a 93% success rate is that we incorporate the most effective counseling method to date. Duke University states that Solution Oriented Counseling (SOC) has the highest success rate of all counseling methods. That is for both individual and couple counseling. One hour a week of counseling has only a 7% success rate.
What is an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
A Marriage Rescue Intensive Retreat is a Christian based intervention specifically designed to totally turn around the mountain of pain a couple is in.
An Intensive Marriage Retreat is an intervention where couples come for 3, 4 or 5 days in a row. An Intensive Marriage Retreat is for couples who need highly skilled help ASAP! It’s not traditional one-hour-a-week counseling. It’s a down-in-the-trenches event aimed at completely restoring your relationship. It’s completely private with just you, your spouse, and your Counselor.
Even though our Intensive Marriage Retreats are Christian based, we gladly accept people of all faiths, even those with no particular faith. We promise not to beat you over the head with the Bible!
What Form of Counseling Do Your Conselors Use?
We do not subscribe to the “talk therapy” method of counseling, simply because it doesn’t work with couples in crisis. We each have advanced study in “Solution Oriented Counseling” (SOC). In SOC, we do not hang out in the past – blaming, fault finding, who is the bad guy, etc… we put our time and energy into creating do-able solutions to a couple’s issues. We do need to look at the past long enough to get a clear idea of each spouse’s complaints about the other; we do this so a couple can move forward with a game plan. SOC allows couples to create a new today and tomorrow!
Learn more about Our Christian Marriage Counselors.
Is There Anything We Need To Do Before We Come?
Yes. Each spouse fills out an 8 page “Confidential Questionnaire” prior to coming. This helps your Counselor start to get to know you and your issues even before you arrive. Everything you write is strictly confidential, and we ask that spouses do not share their answers with each other.
Who Should Attend an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
- Busy professionals who don’t have time to wait 9-12 months for weekly sessions to make any progress, if any.
- Couples who have tried traditional one-hour-a-week marriage counseling and it didn’t help.
- Couples who are without hope and want to give up.
- Couples who can’t afford a costly divorce.
- Couples who need an immediate Intervention.
What Will We Learn in an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
- You’ll learn how to feel really heard and understood by your spouse.
- You’ll learn how to meet each other’s deepest needs.
- You’ll learn how to prevent conflict, or if in conflict, how to resolve it in a non-damaging way.
- You’ll learn how to heal from deep past hurts.
- You’ll learn how to rebuild trust.
What is The Difference Between the 3, 4 and 5 Day Retreats?
Time. Depending on the amount of issues, the severity and complexity of a couple’s issues, a couple may need more time than a 3 Day Intensive. We need to leave no stone unturned – and that may mean more time. We work to get to the root of issues. Each Counselor sees their own couple.
I Didn’t See Your Openings Listed on Your Website, How Do I Pick Dates?
We don’t list our openings on the website because they fill up so quickly that scheduling with us over the phone is more expedient. We can usually see a couple within 2-4 weeks. Please call or text us for our next available openings.
How Do I Hold The Dates I Want?
You hold dates by paying either 50% or 100% of the cost of your Intensive. If you chose to pay half, the second half is due 10 days before you arrive. Something not to be surprised about is when you pay, the receipt you get from the processing company will not show your dates. We have your dates written on our schedules. Once you have paid at least 50% the dates are yours.
What Days Do You Offer Intensive Marriage Retreats?
3-day Retreats: Thursday through Saturday
4-day Retreats: Wednesday through Saturday
5-day Retreats: Tuesday through Saturday
We rest on Sundays.
What Do You Specialize In?
- Infidelity & Broken Trust (We have a specific “Road to Recovery” for couples who want to heal from the devastating experience of broken trust)
- Conflicts & Arguing
- Communication Problems
- Deep Hurts & Wounds
- Blended Family & Parenting Issues
Do You Offer After-Care?
Yes! We feel strongly that every program should have solid after-care as part of the total Intensive experience. We send couples home with a manual that has more tools to learn and practice and exercises to continue growing in your marriage. Additional articles that are helpful will also be in your manual. We also offer 6 months of phone support at no additional cost. We want to be there for you even after you leave!
What If My Spouse Doesn’t Want to Come?
Most couples do not have an even level of commitment to the marriage. Although both spouses would need to be willing to try, if your spouse isn’t ready to come, there are things you can do (and not do) that may help your spouse be more open to coming. There is an article specifically designed for people whose spouse is less committed to the marriage.
This article has been immensely helpful on how to interact with your less committed spouse.
Another suggestion is to let them know you are not asking them for a lifetime of marriage with you, not even a commitment of 3 months, or even a month. You’re asking them for just four days, and if by the end of 4 days they still want to end the marriage, let them know you’ll support their decision. You might want to write these words in a very short note to them. Leave it somewhere for them to find. This lessens the chance of an argument. Don’t pursue asking if they read the note, or what they thought of it, etc. Let them come to you to respond to the note. If they respond. Patience is key.
Where is Your Location?
We are located near the beautiful Charlotte Metro area and more rural/suburban Greenville, NC. Charlotte-Douglas International Airport has many direct flights from all over the country, and Greenville has a regional airport that receives flights from Charlotte and other airports.
85% of our couples come from outside North Carolina, and some attend from other countries.
When couples schedule, we send them a list of hotels close to their counselor’s office for the couple’s convenience.
For more information on our location, please visit our Location Page.
Are There Cases When You Would Not Recommend a Couple Take Part in an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
Yes. If a spouse is currently addicted to a substance, or if there has been any physical violence in the past year. We would need to evaluate further before we could give a green light for a couple to come.
Do your Marriage Intensives Include Food and Lodging?
If couples are wanting their food and lodging included, they need to find a program that offers group counseling. When a program sees many couples at one time, they can well afford to pay for everyone’s food and lodging. Since we see only one couple at a time, we unfortunately can’t include food and lodging. After a couple schedules, we send them info on nearby hotels, and restaurants abound in Charlotte!
What is a Typical Day Like?
A typical day starts with you meeting with your counselor for 4 hours each day of intense focus and discussion of your issues. This often can be very emotionally and physically draining. That is why we limit our time to four hours.
Couples will also have 2 to 2.5 hours of homework following each session except on the final day of the retreat. There is no homework following the last session (other than you implementing the changes you commit to doing as you head home. 🙂 )
Homework is divided into 3 parts:
- Some reading (it’s *not* boring reading!)
- Some writing – to go deeper.
- Behavior requests. The very key to the success of your Intensive.
It’s a long day, and sometimes couples will ask to leave their counseling sessions with their Counselor earlier than allotted. We ask all couples to rest up before they come. We ask our couples to stop *all* discussions about their issues one week before they arrive. You’ll only discuss them the same way you’ve always been discussing them, so you’ll get the same result. We don’t want you all worn out before you get here!
I Live Really Close To My Counselor’s Location, Do I Have To Stay In a Hotel?
No. However, we strongly recommend staying in a hotel no matter how close you are to your Counselor’s office.
The advantages of staying in a hotel are:
- You get away from all the responsibilities that being home brings.
- There are not the distractions of TV, postal mail, gaming, phone, doing dishes, kids, dogs, etc.
- You have more time to focus on just each other during this important time.
- Couples have a much fuller experience when they stay in a hotel.
When you schedule, you will be sent a list of hotels that are close to your counselor’s office.
What Is The Cost of an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
Our Marriage Rescue Retreats are less expensive than most other PRIVATE Intensive programs. Sure, we would make a lot more money if we were to see many couples at one time (group format), but what’s more important to us is the individual couple’s result. Although some programs tout 16 hours of counseling, when you and your spouse have to share those 16 hours of counseling with 10 or more other people, how many hours of personal counseling are you and your spouse actually receiving?
Although money might not be tight for you, it is for many folks.
A Three-Day Private Intensive Marriage Retreat ($2,795.00) is equal to four-and-a-half months of weekly counseling. Three-day Intensive Marriage Retreats are best for couples who may need some help but there has been no talk of separation or divorce. Trust has not been broken. Conflicts are infrequent. Three days are right for couples who have an even commitment level to the relationship.
A Four-Day Private Intensive Marriage Retreat ($3,695.00) is equal to six months of weekly counseling. Four-day Intensive Marriage Retreats are best for couples who have some form of broken trust or couples who have talked about separation or divorce. Some couples may already be separated or divorced. Couples may have an uneven commitment level to the marriage. Four days are also best for couples who may have a larger accumulation of issues.
A Five-Day Private Intensive Marriage Retreat ($4,595.00) is equal to seven-and-a-half months of weekly counseling. They are best for couples who have the same amount of issues listed in the four-day retreat, but also have additional issues such as: blended-family issues, parenting issues, extended family issues, or other outside influences that negatively affect the marriage.
Will My Insurance Cover an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
Insurance companies typically pay for traditional one-hour-a-week counseling. They don’t pay for Retreats.
Payment Plans and Scholarships
Unfortunately, we aren’t able to offer payment plans or scholarships. However, we do allow couples to pay a 50% deposit to reserve their date (with the other half due ten days before the retreat). Depending on when the retreat is scheduled, this can help spread out the payments to handle the cost better.
Do You Have Articles That Would be Helpful For Us To Read?
Yes, very good ones. CLICK HERE for more articles.
Do You Have a Statement of Faith?
Yes, please click the link below to read our statement of faith.
You can read our Statement of Faith by clicking here.
Do you suffer from depression?