Why do we have such a high (93%) success rate?

The short answer is because of our approach. Couples come to our retreats with a variety of experiences. The biggest comment we hear over and over is how ineffective their previous counsel has been. Often it is because their previous couple’s counselor sided with their spouse and one of the two felt ganged up on. Another reason is that they were not completely honest in their previous counseling with their spouse and the counselor. A third reason is because they did not find resolution to their issues in previous counseling. All of these are issues we begin addressing on day one of our retreats. 

Reason 1: Felt ganged up on in previous counseling

Our counselors are trained not to take sides, but to be a neutral third party who addresses both sides with an unbiased objective approach. Couples who finish a private intensive retreat with one of our counselors usually say the same thing that they wished they had done this earlier and that it was a breath of fresh air to not feel judged or picked on by the counselor. Our approach is one of love and grace. Though we may not have personally struggled with the depth and degree of pain that some of our counselees have, we empathize well because we do not feel like we are better or above those we counsel. We believe that we could make the same mistakes and are no better than those who come to us for help! 

Yes, you want to come to an expert and we are experts at what we do, but you will never feel like we are making you feel inferior or “less than” when you work with us. Instead we approach all couples with respect and love as people who have made mistakes. Our end goal is to help teach you how not to make the same mistakes in the future! We provide an environment of grace, acceptance, and hope that things really can get better. 

 

Reason # 2: Not honest in previous counseling

Unfortunately, some couples come to us and admit they have not been honest in previous counseling due to varying reasons. A common reason is that they did not want to hurt their spouse. In their previous counseling, the sessions were so emotional that they did not feel they could be honest for fear of further upsetting their spouse. Another similar reason is that one or both were not honest because they were afraid of their spouse’s reaction to them being truthful. In our sessions we strive to make it safe for both spouses to share the truth. Emotional and angry outbursts may happen, but we limit them by the way we approach conflict in our sessions. The goal is to move forward and not stay stuck in negative or unfruitful patterns, so we help couples figure out alternative approaches that help produce an accepting and safe atmosphere to share the truth even when it is hard. Not only do we help couples practice this approach during the sessions, but we also equip couples with tools to continue practicing it when they return home. 

If couples are not honest with one another, they perpetuate a cycle of instability and unmet needs. At Marriage Rescue, it is important to be honest and not avoid sensitive topics for fear of your spouse’s reaction. We equip couples with a new way to approach telling the truth that often  brings down the walls of hostility and resentment they feel toward one another. Once each spouse feels heard and understood, it opens a door for further understanding and connection. It is often a domino effect that brings new clarity and direction to couples that we counsel. 

 

Reason # 3: No resolution in previous counseling

Couples also find themselves in an ongoing cycle of unresolved conflict despite the hours, months, and money they spent on previous counseling. One of our main goals is to help couples resolve their conflict. We talk about their biggest issues and help them develop a plan moving forward on how to resolve them so they can stop repeating the same hurtful cycle in their marriage. As long as both can see their contributions to the unhealthy and often toxic patterns of communication, then they can heal and create a plan for continued resolution in the future.  

Our high success rate with couples comes from years of helping couples better understand each other and find ways to forgive, compromise, rebuild connection, and improve communication overall. Because our retreats are private intensives, we are able to take the time to address the issues more fully than possible in a week to week one hour session or in group retreats with multiple couples. The individualized attention and homework helps couples to find intentional ways to address one another each day of the retreat. It will take both partners to make the marriage better, so we encourage both to participate and work to be different so their marriage can continue to improve in the future.

Give us a call today.

We would love to help you get your marriage on a healthier path!